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Think Win/Win

Key Points:

  • You can't change the fruit without changing the root.
  • Whether you are the president of a company or the janitor, the moment you step from independence into interdependence in any capacity, you step into a leadership role. You are in a position of influencing other people. And the habit of effective interpersonal leadership is Think Win/Win.

There are 6 paradigms (lens in which we view the world) of human interaction

  • Win/Win
    • With a Win/Win solution, all parties feel good about the decision and feel committed to the action plan. Win/Win sees life as a cooperative, not a competitive arena.
  • Win/Lose
    • Win/Lose people are prone to use position, power, credentials, possessions, or personality to get their way. The academic world reinforces Win/Lose scripting. The "normal distributive curve" basically says that you got an "A" because someone else got a "C." It interprets an individual's value by comparing him or her to everyone else. No recognition is given to intrinsic value; everyone is extrinsically defined.
    • People are not graded against their potential or against the full use of their present capacity. They are graded in relation to other people.   
  • Lose/Win
    • Lose/Win is worse than Win/Lose because it has no standards- no demands, no expectations, no vision. People who think Lose/Win are usually quick to please or appease. They seek strength from popularity or acceptance. 
  • Lose/Lose
    • Lose/Lose is the philosophy of adversarial conflict, the philosophy of war. Lose/Lose is also the philosophy of the highly dependent person without inner direction who is miserable and thinks everyone else should be, too. "If nobody ever wins, perhaps being a loser isn't so bad."
  • Win
    • When there is no sense of contest or competition, Win is probably the most common approach in everyday negotiation. A person with the Win mentality thinks in terms of securing his own ends-- and leaving it to others to secure theirs.
  • Win/Win or No Deal
    • Win/Win has the same approach above but No Deal is included because if you cannot come to a Win/Win scenario then-No Deal is the best option.
The best choice depends on reality. The challenge is to read that reality accurately and not to translate Win/Lose or other scripting into every situation.



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